Thursday, October 16

" I'm Running For President!"

If any one you care about ever utters these words, you have a duty to pimp slap them upside the head. Think about it. You spend two years traveling to every part of the country about 50 times. You have to shake hands, kiss babies, and, oh so tactfully, beg for money. In between all this, you have to say the exact same thing about 10,000 times, always enthusiastically, always with a smile. On top of all this, you have campaign staff to keep motivated (since most are volunteers you're paying them with compliments and hope), surrogates to manage, and advisers to counsel with. Oh, and did I mention, that you're doing all this whilst everybody in the world is not only watching your every current move, but simultaneously pouring over every minute of every day you, your family, your friends, your associates, and your associates' associates have ever lived. You go through this two year application process, which ages you by about 10, just so you can make the hardest decisions imaginable with about 300 million people both looking to you for help and telling you what to do at the same time. Lastly, this position that you killed yourself to get, that you struggle to get through day in and day out; it is, by definition, A TEMP JOB! Our leaders might be the brightest, most educated and innovative people on the planet, but it's clear that anyone who runs for President, definitely hails from the shallow end of the gene pool.

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